I just came home from a meeting. To be honest, it's about 55 minutes ago since my feet stepped in our house. The convergence I am talking about was a church-related one. Since the end of the year is fast-approaching, the youths and my co-leaders did an evaluation of 2010; after a successful Junior Y Thanksgiving Celebration and gulping our macaroni soup.I have no plan of telling you the nitty-gritty of the minutes, yet, tonight (it's already 12:03 a.m! morning, rather. ;p), I am pushed to share the realizations from today's experiences.
While preparing the soup, I conversed with one of my best buddies, Marjo. Having a little kick of nostalgia in me, I asked her about the thing she told me about five years from now. We were in front of dining table then, back in our old apartment. She asked me. "Am I immatured?"; and she remembered it. After laughing, she told me "Kaw! Pinaalala mo naman sa'kin yan". Haha. I didn't exactly know why I'd brought up the issue but, amazingly, Marjo's concluding statement for tonight's meeting was somehow connected with the question of maturity.
10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
-- 1 Corinthians 13:11, NIV
The verses moved me. It was Paul saying that as we grow up, we must put our childish ways behind us. With faith, hope and love; growth should also be included. There's also a call for maturity.
I, honestly, don't even know how it feels to be called an immatured. Back in highschool, my friends thought of me as ahead of them in terms of intelligence and emotional quotient. Until I reached 20, a boy who is three years my junior told me through SMS these words: "Ilang taon ka na? At ilang taon ka na mag-isip?". Being insulted with the words he threw, I texted him back, saying "Wow! Anong akala mo sa sarili mo? Matured ka na?". I was sarcastic then, but in all honesty, I must say, my ego was hurt. I do not know if Marjo felt the same way when somebody told her that she was immatured; but it stang not just my pride, but my heart.
What does it take to be matured? How can someone be able to measure where he/she is now in respect to maturity spectrum?
Walking home, I've really been thinking of myself, not selfishly, but in terms of my maturity. I can't say I am; because the truth is, for my 21 years of existence, there is so much immaturies in me. Maybe, that boy has the point to question me like that. However, if ever I'd be given a chance to answer him back again, I rather told him I know his point than proving him,through my original reply,that I am such.
I just turned 21 last December 6 and since that day, I've been praying for growth. Well, admitting that you are still childish in many ways at that age is hard; yes. But if denial would hinder me from growing, I rather lay my bare self. I want to be matured. I want to leave the childish ways behind me. I want to grow and be a woman - a woman of God. I may not know exactly how; but someday, somehow, I am longing to be one.
